writer's block ...

... totally sucks. and so does my paper on children immigrants. i'd pay big bucks right now for a 15-20 page paper formatted in APA style. ok, ok ... i'll format it. i'll even write an introduction and conclusion. please? anyone?

alright, alright. let's see ... what else is there? i saw "the santa clause 3" last weekend with my little. she picked it and i thought it would be horrible. fortunately, i was wrong and i actually enjoyed it! unlike a lot of "kids'" movies this one was age-appropriate and not full of punching people in the face (or other unmentionable body parts). the humor was good for kids with enough fun stuff for the adults. if you only see one silly christmas movie this year, this should be it. (disney, you can send my endorsement check to my home address)

i met a patient this week who reminded me of my mom ... well, not really "reminded me" cuz this woman was 88 years old. but like how my mom could be in many, many years. it was hard to be objective but her son was very involved in her care and i felt like she had a good support. i still just wanted to give her a hug.

and kali's starting to think "how to succeed" is cursed. they haven't had a show go without problems since opening night and there have been some weird things going on. one night a whole light beam died in the middle of the "brotherhood of men" song. my theory is that the feminist goddess is watching and she's pissed.

my experience with unemployment got a little more degrading this week. i had to report to a "reemployment orientation" on friday (doesn't that sound like something related to the nazi occupation?). i was all nervous thinking they were gonna check my application log to be sure i'm holding up my end of the bargin by applying for at least 3 jobs per week. or i thought they might have some good advise for finding a job in a job market that's darn near hopeless. perhaps they would direct me to a position that pays more than $19,000/year. nope. they don't have any more information than i do. i answered a short questionnare about what i've been doing and listened to a woman lecture me about how to write a resume. and not a very good lecture, either. i was just another speech she had to give in order to get through her day. i hope i was better than that to my clients at fia. prolly not. maybe everyone on that side of the desk should be on this one for a while.

i think i'm done pretending to work for tonight. get a fresh start in the morning. maybe i'll dream the paper into being.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

randomness

OLD BUSINESS: did anyone see the magically disapearing blog from last week? it was weird cuz i posted it and then suddenly it was gone. it was friday night cuz i wrote about seeing grey's anatomy and this really great experience i had with a physician at the hospital. the short story: she was really great with a patient who was just learning they might have both colon cancer and lung cancer. the doctor was compassionate and took the time to explain all the options to the patient. i found out this week that the patient didn't stay for the tests at the hospital. the family situation is pretty messed up and jeff ended up calling adult protective services. this was the first case i really fielded alone and it was really complicated. i felt good about my part in it and had hopes that the family would make some healthy decisions and get the help they need. one of the things that will take time for me to get used to in this role as a hospital social worker in knowing that i most often won't know what happens to the patients when they leave UMC.

NEW BUSINESS: kali's show "how to succeed in business without really trying" opened on wednesday. the show looked incredible and it was really great to see that all her hard work paid off. and, let me tell you, she worked her butt off. weeks of no sleep long hours at the theatre. i'm so impressed with her dedication and her ability.

so, about the show: the acting was pretty good, the set was fun and props perfect. it's just too bad the show itself is sexist, outdated and the music drab. people keep telling me that they need to perform the classics the way they're written out of some historical accuracy, but this show added some jokes and things that increased the sexism. i don't think there's any need for that, even if you're not going to change the play to make it less offensive. for example, was it really necessary for the only woman in the "brotherhood of men" song to dance on the ceo's desk stripper style? all that was missing was the dollar bills. every woman in the show was a sex object, not just the characters who were written that way. ok ... that's my 2cents.

what else ...? OH! only 13 days till thanksgiving! i'm really looking forward to speniding it with my family in houston. it sounds like jam has the menu under control and i promised dad i'd help roll grape leaves when we get there. we were talking about things to do in houston including an IMAX theatre and tons of museums. and there's some big body of water in the area ... something about the gulf of mexico. maybe we'll go there.

i think that's it for tonight ... more later

Friday, November 10, 2006

people should not be afraid of their governments

remember remember the fifth of november

gunpowder, treason and plot.

i see no reason why gunpowder, treason

should ever be forgot...

Sunday, November 05, 2006

poem

i wasn't sure what to write about this week. it was up and down and pretty stressful and terribly mindless. so, while i think about it a little more, here's a poem i found that made me cry (and y'all know how hard it is to make me cry).






A Hollywood Ending
-Pamela Gray

i will always connect you with that wreched movie we saw on our last night together another failed hollywood attempt to show real live authentic lesbians a lesbian's lover leaves her in their frst scene in the movie that was all we saw of their relationship her grief was ludicrous and then of course there was the inevitable gay bar scene looking like no gay bar any of us has ever sceen two alleged dykes holding pool cues trying to look tough one dressed like paul revere if i had known it would be our last night together i would have made a different choice i never would have said, look i know this movie's gonna be trash but we should see what
they're saying about us we should see what's out there if i had known i would have picked something different something respectable a film i'd want to replay in my mind desert hearts i'd connect you with the thread of saliva between patricia charbonneau and helen shaver's lips or even casablanca ingrd bergman's watery eyes in the final scene cut to: the propeller and back to: her watery eyes if i had known that over and over i would replay our last night together if i had known that the last time you'd ever hold my hand would be in the theatre where we saw that stupid movie where we sank low in our seats and you pulled my leg over yours and we kept a running commentary from beginning to end like a lesbian siskel & ebert two thumbs down if i had known that the lesbian's grief over her lost lover would mock me parody my own grief just the next day if i had known i would have said let's get the hell out of this insulting movie full of lies where lesbians don't look like lesbians and don't even touch each other if i had known i would have said let's not waste our last night together smirking and shaking our heads at hollywood's distortions if i had known that real live authentic lesbian heartbrake was a mere twelve hours away if i had known i would have held your hand and not let go i would have said let's walk down that dark country road again let's kiss under the full moon one last time let me memorize the curve of your neck i'll need it to sustain me through the lonliness to come if i had know that soon i'd be missing you if i had known

Thursday, November 02, 2006