poem

i wasn't sure what to write about this week. it was up and down and pretty stressful and terribly mindless. so, while i think about it a little more, here's a poem i found that made me cry (and y'all know how hard it is to make me cry).






A Hollywood Ending
-Pamela Gray

i will always connect you with that wreched movie we saw on our last night together another failed hollywood attempt to show real live authentic lesbians a lesbian's lover leaves her in their frst scene in the movie that was all we saw of their relationship her grief was ludicrous and then of course there was the inevitable gay bar scene looking like no gay bar any of us has ever sceen two alleged dykes holding pool cues trying to look tough one dressed like paul revere if i had known it would be our last night together i would have made a different choice i never would have said, look i know this movie's gonna be trash but we should see what
they're saying about us we should see what's out there if i had known i would have picked something different something respectable a film i'd want to replay in my mind desert hearts i'd connect you with the thread of saliva between patricia charbonneau and helen shaver's lips or even casablanca ingrd bergman's watery eyes in the final scene cut to: the propeller and back to: her watery eyes if i had known that over and over i would replay our last night together if i had known that the last time you'd ever hold my hand would be in the theatre where we saw that stupid movie where we sank low in our seats and you pulled my leg over yours and we kept a running commentary from beginning to end like a lesbian siskel & ebert two thumbs down if i had known that the lesbian's grief over her lost lover would mock me parody my own grief just the next day if i had known i would have said let's get the hell out of this insulting movie full of lies where lesbians don't look like lesbians and don't even touch each other if i had known i would have said let's not waste our last night together smirking and shaking our heads at hollywood's distortions if i had known that real live authentic lesbian heartbrake was a mere twelve hours away if i had known i would have held your hand and not let go i would have said let's walk down that dark country road again let's kiss under the full moon one last time let me memorize the curve of your neck i'll need it to sustain me through the lonliness to come if i had know that soon i'd be missing you if i had known

Thursday, November 02, 2006